Sexualité

Sexualité

Sex, sex, and more sex. The world can’t seem to get enough of it. Sex is everywhere we turn: movies, magazines, commercials, and the Internet. The Internet. My God… the Internet has changed the sex game completely. No more imagination; it’s there.

Sex, sex, and more sex.  The world can’t seem to get enough of it. Sex is everywhere we turn: movies, magazines, commercials, and the Internet.  The Internet.  My God… the Internet has changed the sex game completely.  No more imagination; it’s there.  Long gone are the days where the pubescent male would hopelessly wait for the “unscrambled” channel to malfunction with a moment of clarity. But with society’s perverse obsession with sex, one has to wonder how that affects us.  As a guy, I can certainly say that my perspective of women has changed since “sex” is just one click away.  But first, let’s get rid of all the moral implications of sex so we can delve a little deeper into this subject matter. So whatever your religious, moral, or judgmental beliefs are, for the sake of this article, we are putting them to the side so no one will be offended, mmkay?

Being Single

If you haven’t heard it on Oprah or read it in dozens of magazines over time, then you probably should know that men think about sex all the time.  All. The. Time. I thought it would be different for older men, but after speaking with a dozen or so guys in their 40s and 50s, apparently it never stops.  As a single male, sex predominates the brain, forcing all of our thoughts to consider what this woman I’m talking to looks like naked. But here’s the thing… it’s not in a demeaning way.  Sure, we can have conversations.  Sure, we can get to know you.  Sure, I’ll take you on a date… but when it’s all said and done, I would really love to have sex with you, even if I’m not that good at it. ☺  Basically, meeting new people, having fun, and ultimately having sex is what being single is all about… at least it is for guys.

Being Married

I just naturally assumed all married couples had sex.  I mean, you’re married; sex is legal under the eyes of God, the law, and your parents…  well kind of.  I have a handful of married friends – guys and gals –and they both said sex was something they have to be in the mood for. WHAT???  For a guy, being in the mood for sex is like being in the mood for food.  I may not always be hungry, but I can ALWAYS eat. Oh, I’m sorry.  I’m being a guy again.  Please forgive me.  But seriously, I was thoroughly disappointed about the lack of enthusiasm regarding sex in a marriage.  I know there are tons of things in life that are more important than sex, but that’s not what this post is about.

Sex is very important to guys, especially in a marriage.  True story: I know a guy who has been faithful to his wife since they were dating.  She wasn’t as sexually experienced as he was, so she wanted to wait until she got married before they had sex. This was a bit extreme for him, but he loved her and agreed.  Fast forward 4 years later.  They’ve now been married for 2 years, and he’s depressed with the sexual aspect of his marriage.  I’m sure there are two sides to this story, but he expresses to me how she’s just not that into it as much as he is.  He thought she would open a magic bag of freakiness after they said, “I do.” Unfortunately for him, she didn’t, and now he knows every female adult actress there is. I think I may secretly write a novel about his life.

Pornography

Ah… one of the most infamous dirty words in American vocabulary. It has literally created a new form of addiction.  But let’s go deeper.  What does this form of entertainment provide?  Is it a perversion?  Is it therapeutic?  I’m sure there is some kind of study that agrees with both diagnoses.  But what we all should be able to agree on is that it can change a person’s expectations of sex. I can’t imagine being that pubescent male I mentioned earlier, having the access to pornography at such a young age.  It can definitely give the wrong impression to young men about women, sex, and all that goes along with it.  I had a brief conversation with a few of my female associates at a hotel bar recently, and I was surprised to learn that some of them watch porn.  Not to the extent of my male associates, but they do watch it.  The biggest critique they had with it was “Why does the female have to look so blah? I mean, they could at least do her hair, her make-up… something.”  I quickly reminded them that hair and make-up was the LAST thing millions of guys were looking at.  

As we move further into the future, sex is becoming less and less of a taboo in our society.  We all have different levels of desires, perversions, kinks, fetishes, or whatever. Sex, no matter at what consenting age, requires some level of maturity and shouldn’t be entered into lightly (no pun intended). Although sex can be fun, and should be fun, it also should be taken seriously, and responsibility should never be neglected.  Protect yourself, get tested, and never rely on the other person for your own safety.  And as always… Happy Dating.

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