Google the word “love” and immediately pops up a picture of a boy and girl (or girl and girl, or boy and boy) sitting on a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G! While this picture is not exactly untrue as to what love is, it is as incomplete as it is shallow.
Google the word “love” and immediately pops up a picture of a boy and girl (or girl and girl, or boy and boy) sitting on a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G! While this picture is not exactly untrue as to what love is, it is as incomplete as it is shallow. Love begets more from a person, and in a million ways, it is inexpressible as it is expressed in the phrase “I love you.”
The beauty about love is that love flourishes in the good times and grows in the hard times. Love is not complete without sacrifice. Some bigger than others, but sacrifices nonetheless. You sacrifice your ego when you say “I’m sorry,” you sacrifice your pride when you say “I miss you.” By the same token, you sacrifice identity when you change your last name or if you’re a modern-day woman, hyphenate it. You sacrifice time with the girls for a night at home curled up with your Romeo. You sacrifice the thrill of a forbidden romance when you turn down advances from a stranger… The list goes on and on.
The beautiful thing about sacrifice and love can be found in the fact that when you truly love someone, you make sacrifices, not because you are expecting something in return, like a negotiation process or social contract. Instead, you make whatever sacrifice because you want to.
Love is…in the moments
Love is in the tight hugs after a hard day at work. Love is listening to your partner bicker about co-workers you barely know and making him/her feel validated in their concerns. Love is eating a charred meal because your loved one put their foot in it, even though it tastes like gourmet sand paper. Love lives in shared joys, phobias, and insecurities that we collect as we travel through life.
Love is…change you are okay with
The way you see life may change once you’ve been shot by cupid. Your daily schedule as you know it may have to be altered to accommodate the needs of your other. Your eating and exercise patterns may change (hopefully for the better) thanks to your beau. All of which you must sincerely be okay with or else you run the risk of developing some level of resentment for your other.
Love is…the ability to stay
Through the proverbial thick and thins, through the bliss and blisters, through morning breaths and nosey relatives, you must be able to stay. Staying through it all transcribes into “I’m in this with you. I’m rooting for us.” Staying ability requires the unique balance of effort, ease, patience and hope, all of which, like roots to stems of tree, provide support, foundation, and strength.
Lastly, love lies in vulnerability. Love is giving someone your heart and giving them permission to break it; knowing they can, but hoping, wishing, praying they wont.
The next time you find yourself trying to determine whether or not you truly are in love, think about these characteristics of love. Ask yourself if you truly embody them or are simply infatuated with the idea of love. Because, some words, once uttered, cannot be taken back.
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