A Letter To My Teenage Mom

A Letter To My Teenage Mom

First, I am sorry that your teenage years will be cut short. You will leave your friends to attend another school, and I hate that you have to do this, but you will make new friends, some that you will keep for a lifetime.

First, I am sorry that your teenage years will be cut short.  You will leave your friends to attend another school, and I hate that you have to do this, but you will make new friends, some that you will keep for a lifetime.  (You will get in touch with them once Facebook is invented.)  You will learn that some of your friends, well, weren’t really your friends because they will think that pregnancy is contagious!  I promise you, it’s not!

Teenage years are tough as it is, but your body will change and I will say sorry because you will spend time trying to find TIME to work out! But, I think pregnancy only made you more beautiful.  That body will bring you four other beautiful children in the future, and the center of your universe will grow to be the 5 of us.

I apologize that you have to learn to balance school, taking care of me, and trying to build your relationship with daddy.  This is so much to take on at your age.  I know that you will be making so many sacrifices like sleep, taking a shower, and buying yourself something new.  It doesn’t get easier, just prepare yourself now.  After I finally sleep through the night, time will fly by quickly and you will start staying up wondering when I will be home from being out with my friends, then boyfriends, and then I will live in another state, and you will worry because you won’t be able to wait up for me.

I am sorry that people will judge you.  Many people will have opinions about you as a person, how you are raising me, and the choices that you make. Again, this will not change for the next 28 years, and I anticipate it won’t change until we are old and gray.  But, you will learn to be stronger and rise above.  Just wait a few years; you will see.

I am with you.  I am sincerely sorry, that some days you will feel alone and that I am the only person that you have.  I may be tiny and small, but I can understand your emotions even as an infant.  I know that you are scared and stressed.  I know that you feel a little lost, but I love you.  I also know that you love me more than anything in the world.  I can feel it in my tiny heart.  At 16, you gave me the time and interaction that built empathy, but you have no idea that you had that ability.  You are a superstar at parenting, even on the days you think you aren’t handling it well.

What I really want to say is thank you.  Thank you for choosing me.  Thank you for deciding that I was worth all of the sacrifices and struggles you will face.  I will not be an easy person to raise.  I will be stubborn, opinionated, and make tons of mistakes.  I will mouth off, get cranky, and I will make decisions that make you want to throw your hands in the air and question what you did wrong.

I promise you that there will be tons of laughter, though.  We will have long talks and fun trips.  We will have more memories because I got to meet you sooner than many moms meet their children.  There will be a lot of tears.  Tears of joy, of sadness, of excitement and of fear.  We will get through many of them together, although there are some, even those ones you cry now that I will know nothing about because you will protect me from them.

Thank you for loving me no matter who I am becoming.  I am going to say, again, I am sorry because even recently (28 years from where you are) I said some things I was not too happy about because I was too busy being wrapped up in my own world.  I often forget throughout the next 28 years, you will soon see, as I am growing older and trying to start my own life and family that I AM your life and you are growing older too.  I don’t visit as often as I should or make time to talk because I am always thinking about the big picture, not this moment, even though I write about taking TIME.

I take your love for granted often on this journey because it is the one thing you will always give so freely, and I feel like you will always be there.  I forget that life can be so short. You have loved me since before we ever met and you will continue to love me when I am off on my own being a mother to my own children realizing all of the things you must have felt because of things I have said and done.

If I could go back in time and meet you while I am 28 I’d like to tell you:  You will be the most amazing mother.  

I am stronger because you allowed me to be ME.  Even when I was wrong.  

Thank you for never doubting me and knowing that I do things in my own time.  Like graduating college, apologizing, and laundry!  

Thank you for every sacrifice that you make without ever regretting them because you do them out of love.  

Thank you for being a best friend, a cook, a chauffeur, a teacher,  a nurse, a counselor, a coach, a seamstress, a stylist, a hairdresser, a personal shopper, a detective and all the jobs in between.

Thank you for sticking up for me, standing by me, holding my hand, giving me a push.

Thank you for being my biggest critic and my biggest fan.

But more than anything, thank you for being who you were at 16.

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