How To Cope With A Parent That Has Cancer

How To Cope With A Parent That Has Cancer

Cancer Sucks! It has either touched you or the life of someone you love. Nobody can prepare you for when sickness strikes someone close to you. It is even harder when it is your parent.

Cancer Sucks!  It has either touched you or the life of someone you love.  Nobody can prepare you for when sickness strikes someone close to you.  It is even harder when it is your parent.  I know I always saw my parents as strong and invincible—especially my dad. He is one of the toughest guys I know, so it was hard trying to wrap my head around this C word that I feared ever hearing and trying to understand it all.  I consider myself pretty tough, but I felt like someone took a knife and ripped a big chunk of my heart out.   It can be one of the hardest things that you and your family can go through.  While we are getting some answers and learning about what to expect, staying positive and strong is important.  Here is what I am learning and, for those of you who are also coping, sending you a virtual hug.

Take an active role in their care, even if it is going to the doctor with them for support.  Just being there for them will help keep up the morale.  Make extra time to spend time together.  By doing that, you are creating memories and showing your loved one that they are still needed and loved.  Tell them and the people who are important in your life that you love them… Tell Them Every Day!  Be patient with family members.  Everyone copes with an illness in different ways.  Some will keep their emotions in, while others let them out.  Remember, we all handle our fears differently.

Never stop hoping and keep a positive attitude.   It is important to find those moments when you can feel positive.  Yes, there will be some people that will say the wrong thing, and I realize it is not meant on purpose. They just do not know what to say and, to be honest, who does?  There are some that might say things that might bring you down.  My answer to that is: We are well aware of what we are dealing with and do not need your negative vibes around us, so fuck off…and, of course, you say that with a smile on your face.  

Laugh often.  Laughter is a good thing, and humor and joy are an important part of life.  Don’t put off things that make you/them happy.  Do things as a family that you have been putting off and create beautiful memories that will last a lifetime.

Even though it is a stressful time, and you want to be there and do everything you can,

don’t forget to take care of yourself and try to find peace and balance.  Surround yourself with friends, allow yourself to cry, and let your emotions out.  It is normal to feel sadness and anger, and it is okay to ask for help whether it is through a support group or friends and family who are always there to get you through the good and the bad times.

In spite of all the challenges, good things come from bad, and it can bring you closer to each other and help you recognize what’s most important in life.  Here is a quote that I have always loved: “You have to accept whatever comes, and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give.” Eleanor Roosevelt.  

My family have been and will always be important to me.  None of us know how much time we have left, so make the most of what we have. The way I see it is that you have two options: You can give up OR fight like hell… and I say fuck cancer and fight like hell!  Stay positive, live for today and the moments and celebrate love and life.  

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