Cheating Isn’t Only Sex

Cheating Isn’t Only Sex

“No two objects can occupy the same space at the same time.” You’ve probably heard that quote many times but never in relation to emotional energy. Some of you may claim that you can be emotionally involved with two people at the same time, but I’ve yet to meet the talented shape shifter who can accomplish that feat without a lot of messy overlap of feelings.

“No two objects can occupy the same space at the same time.” You’ve probably heard that quote many times but never in relation to emotional energy.  Some of you may claim that you can be emotionally involved with two people at the same time, but I’ve yet to meet the talented shape shifter who can accomplish that feat without a lot of messy overlap of feelings.  I’m here to argue that the betrayal does not occur once there’s some sort of a sexual act involved.  The betrayal begins way before during the “I love the sound of your voice” stage.  That’s when you are too focused on the new love object to pay much attention to the older one.

Okay, so you say it’s not “cheating” until body fluids are exchanged?  Well, I’m here to beg to differ.  The cheating occurs when you can’t tell your significant other that your heart skips a beat at the thought of your new love.  The cheating occurs when you express romantic intimacy with someone other than the person you are in a relationship with.  Even if there is no physical exchange taking place, emotional intimacy is cheating.

When you have a new love/romance/sex object in your life,you’re dressing up for that person, maybe even losing weight to look better.  There’s a sparkle in your eye that wasn’t there before.  You know you’re cheating when you are preoccupied with another to the extent that you spend many hours a day thinking of that person, dreaming of that person, and wanting to be with that person.  I’d say that’s something that would get noticed by your partner, wouldn’t you?  And if your partner sees that you’re preoccupied or deep in la la land thoughts, he or she might feel cheated of your attention, or cheated of your affection.

Even if you think you’ve got it under control,you are robbing your partner of your emotional energy and that’s cheating.     You might actually believe that you’re not cheating because you haven’t done “it,” or maybe engaging in a sexual relationship is not on your radar.  The emotional connection that you have with this person is growing to be larger than life, and it might eventually turn into something more at some later date.  You play with fire when you engage in an emotional relationship with someone other than your significant other.

If you find yourself in a situation of emotional infidelity, it’s important to explore your reasons for becoming involved. You might gain some insight as to what’s missing from your life that has been replaced by the new relationship.  The earlier you examine the situation, the better the outcome.  It’s important to understand how you got into the situation so that you can figure out what your next steps will be.  If your committed relationship is important to you, you’ll change direction before further betrayal takes place.

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