As the beautifully flawed humans that we are, there may be times that we’ll get tempted to cheat, reasons immaterial. For some people, the decision to cheat is made a few nano seconds before the act takes place. For others, especially women, a certain amount of thought goes into the decision to cheat.
As the beautifully flawed humans that we are, there may be times that we’ll get tempted to cheat, reasons immaterial. For some people, the decision to cheat is made a few nano seconds before the act takes place. For others, especially women, a certain amount of thought goes into the decision to cheat. Many a time, our significant others are oblivious to the mental battles we fight on a daily basis. If you ever find yourself in that precarious position, below are three things you should do, first.
Acknowledge your thoughts
First order of the day is always be true to yourself. Acknowledge the fact that you are having these thoughts. Now is not a time to label them good or bad. However, recognize that if you decide to cheat, your actions will have consequences. Never in the history of relationship counseling has cheating been known to yield good results. Cheating is much more than swapping bodily fluids with someone other than your partner. It involves emotionally connecting with someone else, sharing a part of your relationship with another, and giving a part of yourself which is usually kept for your significant other, with another. And, of course, there is the physical aspect. Acknowledge the reality of what you are contemplating. Be honest with yourself, and prepare yourself for what it is you are about to embark upon. Acknowledgment fosters clarity, which in turn fosters feedback from reality and wisdom. So, think about it… and then think about it some more.
Evaluate your relationship and yourself
Cheating is never the cure to whatever ails your relationship (if there is an ailment at all). At this time, it’s best to evaluate your relationship to figure out if there is something missing, or something different you’d like, with the hope that if it is given to you, your desire for someone or something else will dissipate. If you are emotionally or physically unsatisfied, or need more time and attention with your partner, then say so. Let your concerns be heard, in a non-threatening manner, filled with love, compassion, and positivity. Relationships are not easy. They require work, and as such, it takes a realization of the importance of self-evaluation to deal with issues like this. Ask yourself these questions:
- “Would I date me?”
- “What am I doing wrong?”
- “What can I do better?”
- “How can I be a better partner?”
- “How can I avert these feelings?”
A little bit of introspection as to the status of your relationship as well your inner being will go a very long way in your relationship. This will help steer you in the right direction and hopefully prevent you from making the decision to cheat… one you probably will regret.
Transfer the energy
In line with the famous adages, “energy is never lost, it is only transferred” and “be the change you hope to see in the world,” be the version of your partner you had hoped that he would be. If he is not as affectionate as you’d like, add a little more affection (sans sarcasm and desire for instant reciprocity) to your daily repertoire. The same goes for love, tenderness, care, and laughter. If you can spend hours and days pondering the pros and cons of cheating, surely you can spend even more time planning ways to love your spouse better. Love begets more love. The more you love someone, and show them that you love them, the more love you receive. It is in giving love that we receive love. Focus on the strengths of your relationships. The things that you DO have are more important than the things you DO NOT have. If your relationship is indeed salvageable, then channel all your energy into making it work. You’d be surprised at the outcome.
I’m rooting for you! ☺
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